FOURTEEN

I saw him!  I swear I fucking saw him today!!!  The tall man in the suit was at the craft store earlier while I was on my afternoon shift!  I was restocking an item on one of the shelves and I turned to grab the empty crate to my right and I saw two very long legs right next to me. I looked up and there he was!  I was startled so of course I fell backwards and shouted in surprise, knocking over one of the boxes next to me.  Dave, the store owner, rushed over to help me and when I turned back to where the man was standing he was gone.  I shook it off as a manifestation that maybe I’m not getting enough good sleep lately but I just saw him again out on the street.  I was sitting at my desk, which is in front of my window, and I noticed that Justine was on the very top level of her cage staring at me.  Not just looking at me, she was staring INTENTLY nonstop for the longest time.  I looked back at my laptop and just above my screen and out on the street I noticed something black and white.  I looked up and saw the man again!  I stared at him for a little while, not sure of what to think.  I have never experienced anything like this before.  I used to not be able to dream but now that I have been dreaming I’m not sure if this is normal or not.  I left the room to get a drink and when I came back he was gone.  I’m not sure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me or not but twice is making me think that it’s not my mind.  I could see him clear as day both times he appeared today.

I don’t think I’ll tell Riley…I don’t want to have to go to the doctors to get myself checked out over some silly guy from my dreams.

~Willow

THIRTEEN

Hello World.

Just thought I would show this to you all.
This is what Justine does when I actually sit down and play with her.  She’s so cute!
I’m sorry about the weird crappy quality stuff that happens as the video begins.

I’m not sure what caused that.

~Willow

TWELVE

Hello World.

I’ve started having those dreams again.  They make me wake up late at night and it takes me a while to get back to sleep so it’s gotten a bit hard to keep up at work.  My social skills have improved so much though.  I’m finding myself actually going out of my way to make sure that the customers are finding everything they need, and I’m also able to give them the proper advice on certain products.  Riley is super proud of me and he says that I seem much happier than I ever used to be.  I feel so much better and so much more confident than ever before.  Justine helps with my mood at the end of long days as well.  Her vet visit went very well and she’s completely healthy.  She’s even caught onto using her litter box so she is able to stay out of her cage for longer periods of time.  She loves to be around me constantly when she’s not frolicking about the room and even if I just go down the hall to the kitchen to get a drink, she follows me to and from.  I noticed something a little weird though, or maybe I’m just being paranoid, Justine is always already awake when I wake up from my dreams about the man with no face.  Every single time.  She’s always watching me as if she’s checking me over to make sure I’m okay.  I can wake up randomly at other times in the night but she’ll be asleep.  It’s literally only when I have the strange dreams that she’s up and alert.  I don’t know, like I said I may just be paranoid so maybe it’s all just coincidence….but still.

I’ll add a picture of Justine here if I can so you can all see her.

 

~Willow

ELEVEN

Hello World.

My first week of work was great!  The couple who owns the craft shop is really nice and they were more than happy to help me with any questions I had about the job.  They made sure that I was doing everything correctly and if I didn’t quite get something right they would nicely explain to me how it would be done correctly.  Everything was so easy after the first two days.  I didn’t really have to talk to anyone who walked in the shop unless the shopkeepers were busy and they had a question about where to find something. 

My birthday was yesterday.  It was so much fun!  Riley bought a bottle of white wine to celebrate and we had a mini party in his apartment.  He had decorated the whole place while I was at work and when I came home he blew confetti in my face and screamed ‘Happy Birthday!’  I had to tell him to shut up because the last thing we needed was for one of his neighbors to complain about noise.  He immediately grabbed my arm and brought me to my bedroom, which was pitch black by the way because he had covered my windows with blankets to keep out any sunlight. He closed the door behind us to make it even darker so I couldn’t see anything.  The next thing I knew he turned on the lights and I found myself staring into two teeny little eyes and a twitching nose.  He had bought me a ferret for my birthday!  I’m not going to lie, I was squealing with excitement for at least two minutes straight.  It was really embarrassing now that I think back, but I don’t care because I have my very own pet!  Riley informed me that it’s a girl so aside from sharing the bottle of wine he bought us and an endless time of video games and music, I spent most of the night trying to come up with a name for her.  By the time we ended up going to bed which was very early this morning, I had decided on naming her Justine.  I remember playing a horror game that I really enjoyed sometime last year and I loved the name so that’s what I ended up calling her.

Right now Justine is crawling around on my shoulders as I type all of this.  She’s extremely friendly and loves to paw through all of my short hair wishing she could somehow make a nest out of it.  Until I get her potty trained though, she can only be out of her cage for an hour or so at a time.  If she stays out any longer than that she’ll have an accident on the floor.  Next weekend Riley and I are going to take her to the vet to get her checked out and to get her the shots she needs.

This week has been very good.  I hope things can stay this way.

~Willow

TEN

Hello World.

I did it!  I got a job!  I also got all of my stuff moved into Riley’s apartment yesterday.  I started unpacking but Riley and I didn’t leave our parents’ house until after dinner so I couldn’t get much done before Riley forced me to go to bed.  He talked to the owners of the craft shop around the corner and they were more than happy to accept my help.  I start work on Monday, even though the shop is open all days of the week; they figured that I should get settled in Riley’s apartment first.  I finished unpacking all of my stuff a little while ago and once I was finished I had a fun time playing with Riley’s ferret, Dexter.  I don’t ever see Dexter that much because mom never really liked it when Riley would bring him to the house.  There isn’t really much else to say at the moment, things are going smoothly and I haven’t had any dreams about the tall man with no face lately.

My birthday is coming up, I’ll finally be 21.

~Willow

NINE

Hello World.

I was able to talk to Riley yesterday.  He had said that he was a little worried about me lately.  I guess mom and dad called him to see if I was going over to his apartment when I would leave the house to go on my walks.  I explained everything to him and he gave me a hug.  I didn’t even have to hear what he had to say next because I knew that he was going to help me find a job.  Riley is staying at our house for the rest of the week to help me go through my stuff.  He also agreed to let me stay with him.  After explaining how I didn’t feel safe in the house anymore and how it would only make me angry to stay there we decided it would be best for my safety and for our parent’s safety that I move in with him.  Mom and dad were a little sad but they didn’t argue.  I guess they would feel better letting me go than risk keeping me around and having something bad happen.  I may not be going to see Dr. Joyce anymore.  I think I have all the skills and know-how to survive in the World now.  Riley can teach me the rest and as for the hostility issues…I don’t need to worry about those unless I’m really angry.  I’m never angry anymore.  Well, except for recently…but that was only because of Dr. Joyce.  She was holding me back from continuing forward in my life.  Sometimes you need to run before you can walk. 

Riley told me that he knows a few people at a small craft shop right around the corner from his apartment building.  He says he might be able to talk to them about hiring me.  I’m happy I won’t have to worry about driving a car to work because I haven’t driven in a few years.  Riley said that after I get settled with a job he’ll take me to get my license renewed.  It kind of makes me nervous to think about being back behind the wheel of a car but I’ve come this far, I’m not about to give up now.

I have to get back to helping Riley go through my stuff.  There’s so much to throw out still before we can pack.

I can’t wait to get out of here.

~Willow

EIGHT

Hello World.

I’m sorry it’s been more than a week since I’ve last talked to you but a lot has been happening and none of it has been good.  I didn’t go see Dr. Joyce the day after my outburst.  My parents were very concerned about my behavior as I had kept myself locked up in my room the entire day and would only open it when mom brought me food.  Dr. Joyce called me several times and I answered none of the calls.  She left about two or three messages and then she finally called the house phone.  My parents talked to her on the phone and though it’s illegal for her to discuss anything that she and I talk about during our sessions, she did advise my parents to check on me because of the whole nosebleed incident.  They did check up on me but I never let them inside my room.

Throughout the rest of the week I would come out of my room to eat and to go for walks.  I was almost never home and my parents called every hour to make sure that I was okay and that I wasn’t lying somewhere dead in a ditch.  I don’t like being home anymore, and it’s not just because my parents are there always bothering me.  I don’t really feel safe there anymore.  I feel much safer outside in the World.  I’ve been having nightmares almost every night now.  I still wouldn’t say I get scared but the dreams are kind of unsettling now.  I can see the thing that follows me in my dreams now.  There are no more ‘out of the corner of my eye’ black and white figures anymore.  I can tell that it’s a man.  A very tall man, taller than anyone I’ve ever encountered in my life.  He is always dressed formally in a pitch black suit and tie.  He has very long arms, like abnormally long arms.  They aren’t proportionate to the rest of his body and the same goes for his long legs.  The strangest and I think the thing that is unsettling to me is his face…or rather lack of.  It’s just white.  Nothing else is there, yet I can tell he is always looking at me.  He follows me wherever I go in my dreams as if he’s watching over me or something.  Perhaps I should consider that he’s stalking me…but for some reason I don’t feel like he wants to do any harm.  I’ve never seen anything like him before anywhere.  I don’t really know how I could dream up something like him if I’ve never seen him before.
I’ve been wanting to call Riley and tell him everything that has been going on but for some reason I don’t think that I should tell him about my dreams.  I’m not sure why, Riley has only ever helped me in the past why shouldn’t he now?  Oh well.  I’ll have to call him soon anyway if I want him to help me find a job. 

Hopefully I’ll find one soon so I can get out of my parent’s house.

~Willow