SIXTEEN

Hello World.

My doctor’s appointment was today and I hated every moment of it.  I absolutely HATE hospitals and doctors, and none of that hate has anything to do with my being a schizotypal.  I’ve just always found doctors to be extremely irritating and stupid.  Hospitals scare me.  Period.  No more to explain really.  Anyway, the appointment went well despite my resistance to even get out of the car.  The doctor didn’t find anything wrong with me.  What a big surprise there.  Riley was acting really paranoid for some reason and asked the doctor if there was anything I could take to prevent my coughing fits.  The doctor explained some random prescription and wrote a note for the pharmacy so that we could go pick up the pills.  I’m not fucking taking those pills.  I hate pills.  I used to be so tripped up on all the anti-anxiety and anti-paranoia pills I used to take when my Schizotypy symptoms would get really bad.  Sometimes my parents would even force me to take a sedative pill when I was being really hostile, or even when they would be paranoid that I was going to hurt them.  Some parents right?  I don’t even care that it’s a pill for coughing fits.  I’m never taking a single pill ever again. 

The ride home was very awkward.  Riley hardly said anything, and he didn’t even look at me.  In fact he has been mildly avoiding me ever since he caught me coughing up blood in the sink.  I don’t know what the hell his deal is but whatever.  If he thinks that I’m going to hurt him then he’s dead wrong.  I’d never hurt Riley, and in fact I’ve never had violent fantasies about him anyway so yeah…

That had better not change…

~Willow