Hello
World.
I’m back from a long few days spent with the family.
That’s right, no therapy session to talk about today. Dr. Joyce told me in our last session that she wanted me to spend a few days with my family, just to try and have a decent amount of ‘bonding’ time.
I’m back from a long few days spent with the family.
That’s right, no therapy session to talk about today. Dr. Joyce told me in our last session that she wanted me to spend a few days with my family, just to try and have a decent amount of ‘bonding’ time.
The trip
was fun. We went camping in the
mountains. The drive was long but thankfully I was able to sleep most of the
ride so I didn’t have to suffer hours of awkward thirty second conversations in
intervals of thirty minutes. When we got
to the campground there weren’t too many people that I could see, which for me
was great. We picked a site and Riley and
I pitched our tents while our parents put together their own. Mom told us that we should explore a little
and check out the camp grounds while she and dad set up everything to make
dinner. I think that she just wanted me
to have a chance to scope out the place and become comfortable with it so we
wouldn’t have another disaster vacation.
I would explain how nearly all of our family vacations have been ruined
by me but it would take too long. I
suppose the long story short is my difficulty to feel remotely comfortable
around a lot of people. I can never go
anywhere like Disney World because theme parks have just way too many people
for me to handle.
Riley and
I walked for a while before we came to a little creek. There was a fallen tree that acted like a
bridge to get us across safely and without having to soak our shoes. We ran into someone else’s campsite but Riley
was quick to drag me away. I was a
little angry at first but then he reminded me that I hadn’t taken my pills
yet. We walked back to the creek and sat
on the fallen tree with our feet dangling into the icy water. We talked about random things; mostly he
talked about his job and how much he hated his boss. He knows I like to laugh at his stories so I
don’t ever mind that he’s the one always talking. He actually asked me more about how things
are going with me though. I told him I
feel trapped, and babied. I want to try
new things in the World so that I can finally experience the things that most
people experience in their life at my age.
I mean, I’m 20 years old for fucks sake!
I think I deserve the ‘next step’ towards living life the way I should
be! Riley told me he was happy I felt that
way. He hadn’t ever seen me act like I
really wanted to be a part of the World, so he was proud. This made me really happy, and excited.
The rest
of the camping trip was fun. It was just
like any other camping trip we ever had, except better. I wasn’t ever uncomfortable at any point,
even when people were driving past our site, and even when the sites next to
ours became filled with other families.
Instead of being nervous and anxious about seeing other people I was
interested in what they would do next. I
watched them minutes at a time every once in a while just to see how they acted
towards one another and what they would do next. Riley caught me a couple times and finally
asked me what I was doing. I think he
thought that I was having more ‘fantasies’ but I tried my best to explain to
him what I was really doing without making it seem like I was acting hostile
towards the families. Mom and dad seemed
uneasy about trusting what I was saying but Riley trusted me and convinced them
that it was no big deal. I can’t wait to
talk to Dr. Joyce again!
Tomorrow
seems so far away!
~Willow
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