TWENTYEIGHT

Hello World.

I’ve been making a little bit of progress on figuring out information pertaining to the Tall Man.  I went to Tasha two days after my last entry and asked her about the boy I killed.  She remembered his missing person’s story on the news and told me that he was someone from her neighborhood and that he was a senior at the high school that was about 5 minutes away from her house.  I apologize for not being specific but you have to understand I’m trying to stay away from giving up my exact location in case anyone comes looking for me.  I’ve only just started finding answers to questions and I can’t afford to be locked away now. 
Getting back to my conversation with Tasha, she became slightly frustrated with me as I kept asking more questions about the boy.  She finally ended up telling me that if she could get me more information about him, I’d have to stop asking about him.  I agreed, not sure of what she was planning and then she disappeared in her room for the rest of the afternoon and night.  The following day around noon she came to me with a few papers, all of them having a decent amount of information, most of it being personal, about the kid.  She then proceeded to explain to me everything she had found.  There was quite a bit about the boy’s school life and then she started to tell me about his medical documents.  I didn’t interrupt her when she began telling me about this part of her findings even though I was extremely confused as to how she was able to acquire such confidential documents.  I noticed that in quite a few of the boy’s medical visits, he was apparently showing similar symptoms that Tasha’s mother was claiming she had in the medical papers that we went over at the park.  After she was finished speaking I pondered all of what she told me for a few moments before asking her how she found all of this.  She simply explained to me that she ‘had her ways’ and that I shouldn’t worry about it too much. 
Considering her grade point average in school’s that she attended and how much money her family had I’m just going to assume that ‘her ways’ are code words for ‘I have a secret life of successful and experienced hacking on the side of normality’.  After all, I have noticed her superiority with computers since I’ve been here with her.

Anyway, overall the boy and Tasha’s mother showed similarities with their health and behavior at some point in their lives, the boy being more recent than Tasha’s mother.  So I can only assume that these things are a result of being followed, stalked, haunted, whatever you want to call it, by this Tall Man.  I am now left wondering why I’m being followed by this Man.  Why does he not take me away with the others?  It’s becoming painfully obvious that he needs me to do his ‘dirty work’.  I can’t give you any other reason for my behavior when he shows up…when I get that itch…that ringing in my ears.  It’s not like he’s controlling me but…at the same time he is.  I know what I’m doing, I feel every touch and I remember it all.  I just don’t want to stop myself.  I don’t care.  I feel nothing emotionally towards what I’m doing.  I want to stop…but why?  I don’t want to say I enjoy it but what else can I say?  I guess you could say I find it intriguing.  As I always have.  I can’t remember a time in my life when I have never felt intrigued by hurting others. 

Maybe it’s His fault?

~Willow

TWENTYSEVEN

Hello World.

At first I was just going to update a casual video of life at home now that things have seemed to settle down since the meeting Tasha and I had at the park, but then the noises started.  Tasha’s dog is always staring at blank space and barks occasionally at nothing.  Other than the unexplained noises things have been going well.  I’ve been trying my best to stay inside most days so I won’t attract unwanted attention and I also don’t want to find myself standing over a bloodied body next to the Tall Man.  I want to tell Tasha about what really happens to those missing people but I wouldn’t even know how to start a conversation like that.  Besides…I think she might already have a general idea of what the truth is.  Besides all of that, we’ve been getting along better than before.  It’s awkward sometimes but for the most part we’re doing alright.
Justine seems happier than ever.  I know that she’s just happy because we have someplace warm to stay again.  It feels nice to take a break from everything, even though shit is still happening.  It doesn’t bother me as much as Tasha though.  I guess all of these noises are the reason she wanted to meet at the park.  I wouldn’t want to be alone in a house where every hour strange knocks and bangs occur.  I’d have a heart attack if one caught me off guard.  I know that she’s actually glad that I’m around again so that she doesn’t have to be here all by herself.

Quite honestly it feels good to have someone to talk to as well.

~Willow

TWENTYSIX

Hello World.

 

 

Don’t worry, I’m fine.  We managed to get away from the cop that pulled up right as Tasha and I were finishing our talk.  I don’t understand what those drawings mean and I still have no solid leads to follow but at least I have some clues towards answering more about the Tall Man.  I don’t know what I’m going to do for now, I think I’m just going to lay low and stay home as much as possible.  I don’t need to put Tasha’s name on the police board with mine.  She’s been through a lot lately and I know that it’s mostly, if not all my fault.

We’re doing better though.

~Willow

TWENTYFIVE

Hello World.

I’m going back to Tasha’s house.  I got this text message from her earlier today.  I don’t know what it is that she wants to talk about…but this gives me a chance to find out more about her mother. 

I hope this isn’t another dead end.

~Willow

TWENTYFOUR

Hello World.

I’m figuring it out.
I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid and blind.  I read everything I’ve told you guys since the beginning.  I figured that maybe there would be something I’d forgotten or missed, maybe overlooked.  I’m stupid.  I’m stumbling around in the dark with a flashlight in my hand.  I wrote down notes, while I was going through all of my updates and I at least found out that the Tall Man is the reason why my schizotypal symptoms have died down.  From memory I can also add that the longer I go without killing someone he takes away, those symptoms start to show their ugly faces.  So I’m some kind of mercenary for this thing?  Why?  This I haven’t figure out yet.  I also have no idea still why these people were targeted.  I use that term simply because it’s the only logical word that fits with what has been happening.  I need more information to answer these questions.  What I need to do is figure out more about these people.  Tasha’s mother would have been easy, except for the fact that she kicked me out of her house.  The boy though…I have his name from the news.  I could try to pick up something from his neighbors or friends, acting as if I were part of some kind of investigation involving his disappearance.  It’s a long shot because I’m rather short and I’ve been told I look rather young, but I have to try.  It’s all I have.
As far as the search for my brother, I’m putting it on short hold while I get this…Tall Man business sorted out to the best of my abilities.  I still have no leads and I found nothing in my updates that I could use to work towards finding him.  I’m hoping that since his disappearance has something to do with the Man that maybe in my ‘investigations’ I’ll find something to help me find him.

I’ll update as soon as I find something.

~Willow.

TWENTYTHREE Part 2

Hello World.

Unfortunately this part of what has happened recently isn’t so pleasant.  First of all, the first four days of staying at Tasha’s house was great.  I was actually taking a short break from my search for Riley and I was catching up with an old friend and having a good time.  It was also really nice to have full meals for a change.  Instead of junk food here and there and some days all that would get me through a day was a cup of coffee and a crescent roll or a strawberry tart from a Starbucks.  Justine was also very happy to be inside a warm household once again.  However these glorious spoils were short lived.  I walked into the living room one morning to find Tasha watching a news report about the man I had killed, his body was still missing and now they were talking about her mother.  The news reporters, always looking for a good story, were going on about how these two cases of missing persons could possibly be connected but it was too early to tell for sure.  Tasha turned the T.V. to mute and turned around with a pissed off look on her face.  I stared blankly at her hoping that she wasn’t about to ask me what I knew she would end up asking anyway.
“Do you know anything about this?” She asked, trying to keep her voice as calm as she could.  I slowly shook my head.  She didn’t need to know about any of that.  So why would I tell her?  She eyed me with the greatest look of suspicion and turned back around to continue watching the news.  I quickly walked out of the room, grabbed a bagel from the kitchen and left the house to go for a walk.  I made sure not to go down any busy streets as I didn’t want anyone to recognize me.  I was keeping up with mine and Riley’s missing persons case and I wasn’t about to make any stupid mistakes.  Even though Tasha’s neighborhood was a decent couple of miles away from where Riley and I lived I still took precautions. 
About thirty minutes into my walk however I started to feel a familiar itch.  The haunting ringing echoed in my ears and I shook my head to try and get rid of it.  Nothing helped and I turned around to search for what I knew would be near.  There he was…standing across the street from me.  I shook my head again because the ringing kept growing louder.  I suddenly felt something warm trickle down to my lips and my face curled in disgust when I ran my tongue across my lips.  The nasty pang of my blood was all over my taste buds and I brought my sleeve up to my face to wipe away my nose bleed. 
“Hey, are you alright?”
I heard someone behind me.  I turned around to see a young man looking at me quite concerned.  He had to have been in his teen years, probably seventeen or eighteen.  I looked back across the street at the Tall Man who was still standing there.  The boy followed my gaze and he turned almost as pale as the Tall Man.  He could see the Man?  Before I could even go over this thought in my head I was leaping onto the boy grabbing at his neck to keep him from screaming.  I squeezed hard with one hand and was able to grab my knife from my jacket pocket.  His eyes widened and he managed to utter a gurgled “SHIT!” as I brought the knife closer to his face.  I stroked his cheek with the blade and then quickly jabbed it into the bottom of his jaw closer to his throat.  With a quick jerk up to his chin he was suddenly lifeless and I jumped off of him taking a few hasty steps backwards as the Tall Man appeared before us and just as quickly disappeared with the body.  I stood there for a few minutes staring at the spot that the boy’s body once laid. 
“What is going on?” I found myself asking out loud.  I wasn’t scared.  Hell if I was scared by what I was doing…I know I should be…but I can’t feel it.  All I felt was confusion.  Something was going on that I wasn’t getting.  Why do I keep killing people I don’t even know?  Excluding Tasha’s mother of course…but…then I had a thought.  The boy had seen the Tall Man before I killed him.  How could he see him?  No one else I ever knew could.  I had too many thoughts racing through my head to sort it all out there so I cleaned my blade with my sleeve and pocketed it. 
A few days passed and I had been out of the house for about an hour before I returned.  Upon entering through the front door I heard the T.V. on in the family room.  It was the news again and this time it was focused on another missing person.  The news woman described a teenage boy with the description of the kid I had killed the other day.  Avoiding the entire situation I tried to hurry upstairs before Tasha knew I was even home.
“WILLOW!!!” I heard her yell, and it was loud.  I couldn’t avoid this situation so I made my way down to the living room where I found her standing in front of the television with her arms crossed and a furious look on her face.
“I’m going to ask you a question and this time you are NOT going to lie to me.” She said and I stood there frozen.
“I know you know something about these missing people, and it’s not just because Riley is gone too.  You have something to do with this and I want to know what.”
I didn’t say anything.  I stood there staring at her trying to keep a calm, straight face, but she didn’t like that.
“WHERE IS MY MOM!?” She screamed at me.
I couldn’t deny her the truth any longer.
“She’s dead.” I said in the flattest tone I’ve ever used.
Tasha stared at me for a few seconds before tears began to stream down her face.
“GET OUT!  JUST GET OUT!!” She yelled and took a few steps towards me.  I knew she wasn’t going to hurt me but I was afraid anyway that she would.  I grabbed my bag and Justine from the kitchen and rushed out the door into the street.  I ran.  I didn’t stop until I was at the elementary school a little ways further into the neighborhood.  I sat down on one of the swings at the park next to the school and just…cried.  What is wrong with me?  Why was I hurting and killing people without any feeling?  Why was I doing it at all?  I know that the Tall Man most likely has something to do with all of it I just can’t understand any of it.  Nothing makes sense.  I’m turning into a monster and when I think about it I haven’t made any real progress on finding Riley at all.  I had a friend but I’ve ruined even that.  Am I cursed or something?  I need answers…but I have no idea where to get them.

I don’t know what to do…

~Willow

TWENTYTHREE Part 1

Hello World.

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you all.  Once again I’ve been bombarded by a LOT of shit.  Therefore I’m going to make these next two entries in parts.  This is going to be Part 1.  Anyway going back to when I was talking to Carolyn, like I said I had talked to her and informed her of Riley’s disappearance although I tried my best to leave out the details of the Tall Man and killing the man and her own mother.  Unfortunately this proved to be extremely difficult and she caught on to my lack of information very quickly.  I ended up telling her about the Tall Man after and when I first mentioned him her face grew slightly pale and she swallowed nervously.  By the time I was finished telling her ALMOST the full story, she was silent for a little while.  At first I feared that she didn’t believe me but I knew that wasn’t the case.  Not with the way she reacted.  She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before speaking.
“I believe you.”
This was beginning to sound like the conversation I had with Riley before he disappeared.  As a paranoid reaction I looked around the room to make sure the Tall Man wasn’t anywhere near.  I didn’t see him.  Carolyn then began to explain what had happened to her after I wasn’t allowed to see her as a child.  Her family was very upset with me and my parents even though it was deemed an accident.  Carolyn was scared and hated me at first but after they moved away from us she began to remember seeing the Tall Man with me that day and told herself that it was his fault.  Sometimes she would think that she saw the Tall Man throughout the rest of her childhood years but when she would really look there would be nothing there.  As she grew older he went away and she didn’t see him anymore until once recently.  She saw him one night outside her bedroom window, watching her.  She tried to tell herself it wasn’t real but every time she would go back to her window he would be there.  I then realized that the night she saw him was the same night I had killed her mother.  I didn’t really know what to think.  I sort of hated myself for not feeling sorry about the whole thing but I couldn’t help it.  I tried to feel something…anything…I could not.  She noticed that I wasn’t exactly focused on what she was saying and said my name a few times to grab my attention.  Carolyn then continued to explain that her mother and father had gone through a really bad divorce and her father wouldn’t leave them alone.  Things ended up getting really bad so they moved and even changed their names.  Carolyn’s name for the past five years has been Tasha.  I quickly apologized for using her ‘old’ name but she smiled and told me it was fine and that it was sort of refreshing to hear her real name as even her mother called her Tasha all the time.  We talked a little while longer before I finally asked the question that had been nagging at the back of my mind.  I asked her if I could stay with her for a while.  I’d been jumping around from random buildings and backyards for weeks ever since I stopped wasting money on cheap motels.  The nights had gotten way too cold to be sleeping outside and I feared that Justine would catch the flu.  Tasha told me that I was more than welcome to stay in her home for as long as I needed to and that even if I left I was always welcome back.  She then mentioned that this offer only lasted until her mother returned from a sudden business trip that was stretching on longer than expected.  I paused nervously for half a second and then smiled.
“Of course.”
I hugged her and thanked her for her hospitality and she showed me where I would be sleeping.

It felt good to finally have someone to talk to, and somewhere warm to sleep for a change.

~Willow