THIRTYFIVE

Hello World.

I apologize for making you wait so long to hear about the email.  I got a little…sidetracked, to say the least. 
The email I received came with the bird skeleton necklace I was wearing in entry THIRTYFOUR and there wasn’t much actually written in the email other than,
“You’re going to need this soon, and I hope that they accept you as the new ‘Scarecrow’. – R”
The R is obviously why I’m pretty certain that Riley is the one who has been sending me these emails.  At least it makes sense as to why the emails were signed with no name and had content pertaining to my brother.  I have no idea who he was talking about in the email or what this ‘Scarecrow’ title is supposed to mean but I feel like I’m going to be finding out very soon.  Yesterday Tasha and I were cleaning up around the house and we went down to the kitchen to make some lunch and I saw someone standing outside at the far end of the street watching us.  They were too far away for me to see who they were but it was obvious that they were focused on our house.  I called Tasha over to look but when she got to the window the person was gone.  She gave me a look like I was crazy and then proceeded to laugh at me.  I felt a little silly but I know that I saw them.  It makes me nervous to think of what might happen next.  I can’t shake the feeling that there are more of these people and they’re just waiting for something.  An opportunity perhaps?  For what though, I have no clue.  All I know is that I’m back on my feet and I’m feeling better than I have in months.  With the knowledge that Riley has been sending me these emails it makes me feel like I’m slightly closer to finding him and figuring all this craziness out.

At the same time however…I feel like there is so much more than I originally anticipated.

~Willow

THIRTYFOUR

Like I said in the video, I'll explain everything soon just not right now...I need to get my head all cleared before I try doing anything important.

~Willow

THIRTYTHREE

Sorry I got around to putting up this entry a little late.  After I uploaded the video to youtube I passed out for a 4 hour nap.

~Willow

THIRTYTWO

Hello World.

So.
I’m sorry about the abrupt upload with no explanation as to what happened at all.  I feel like shit, and I look like shit….which is why I’m not speaking to you in a video entry.  The footage in entry THIRTYONE is actually from two weeks ago, and I’m only just now putting it out there for you all to see because I have been so incredibly tired and I feel awful.  I have been keeping myself locked in my room ever since the Tall Man came to take Tasha away from me.  Which by the way yes that was what happened.  Tasha and I had gone out to the craft store to buy supplies to make glow jars.  We ran out of glow paint and had to run out to the store to get some.  When we came back He was there and He wanted to take her away from me.  I screamed at Him and told Him that He couldn’t have her, that I needed her.  When questioned why I told Him that I needed her to help me and that if He took her away from me I wouldn’t be able to help Him with the people He was having me collect.  He didn’t like the idea but I tried my best to stand firm and He eventually left as quickly as he came.  Tasha was completely out when I turned to her and she was so weak when she woke up but surprisingly and thankfully she has gone from her state of tiredness and exhaustion over the past few months to being completely fine again.  I really can’t say the same for myself…but I’m sure it’s because I haven’t collected anyone for Him in such a long time. 
Aside from how terrible I’ve felt ever since then, I’ve been getting emails from someone with an untraceable source.  Tasha suspects public computers and several of them but she tried and tried but was unable to get any personal information out of the account being used.  She isn’t even sure how this person is sending me emails because they don’t even have a username it’s just the @gmail.com part with nothing before it.  Anyway, this person was sending me blank emails at first which greatly confused me and I assumed it was just Gmail fucking up but then they started sending me video files of several different places in Colorado.  Only recently have I found that these video files are from vacations I spent with Riley and my family.  None of these videos were accompanied by text and it makes me uneasy to think about who might be sending them to me.  In a way it’s sick and I don’t want to look at any more of these videos of Riley.  This person obviously knows more than I do about where he is but I cannot do anything about it.  For now these videos are sitting in a folder in my computer and I’ll get around to putting them together to show you all but…I just need a little bit longer to rest.  

I know that my condition will not change until I’ve killed again…and it’s enraging.

~Willow

THIRTYONE

THIRTY

Hello World.

Sorry for my absence the past few weeks.  After the last entry I made…I’ve been feeling really shitty.  I’ve been avoiding Tasha around the house occasionally and some days I’ll go without saying much of anything.  I want to go outside but I’m forcing myself to stay in. It may not seem like it to you guys, but I really don’t want to be roaming around murdering people all the time.  Granted I don’t feel anything towards it but, if I get caught…I don’t know what I’d do.  There would be no one to look for Riley.  I honestly don’t think that Tasha would continue to help me look for him if something happened to me and I can’t really blame her for that, it’s not her responsibility.  It’s mine.

Anyway, Tasha has been feeling about the same.  She still feels really drained some days but it seems like she’s getting better little by little.  Nevertheless she has continued to help me look for answers and more information about everything that has been happening.  She didn’t really have anything to tell me about the movie tickets and when I asked her she had no new theories on the matter of where they came from and why they were in the envelope.  The same went with the tarot card, but she noticed something in my last video.  She pointed out that after the coo-coo clock went off in my video that I completely stopped talking and turned my attention to where the sound was coming from.  Then the Tall Man appeared and I left.  I didn’t really think anything of it other than Him appearing to summon me or whatever it was that happened, but she remembered something from one of my other videos.  I had shown her the footage I had taken over the course of my ‘investigation’ and she pointed out the strange video and audio distortion that occurred in the video of entry TWENTYTWO.  It was similar to the distortions in TWENTYNINE and she threw in the idea that maybe it could be connected to the reason why I was sent the watch.  Neither one of us knows exactly what the watch is for but at least we have a very tiny lead as to what it might be connected to.  I’m hoping soon I’ll find out what it’s for but at the same time…I’m afraid to know.  I have this gut feeling it has something more closely connected to the Tall Man.  For now I guess we’ll have to keep searching for more answers.  I don’t want to believe that I’m heeding to the Tall Man’s will but I am.  I can’t deny that much.  He’s got me killing these people who seem to know of his existence and it makes me wonder what he doesn’t want anyone to know.  It also makes me nervous about Tasha.  What if I go after her?  Or what if He takes her away?

I’ll stay in touch with you guys.

~Willow

TWENTYNINE

Hello World.

Honestly I don’t remember what happened after I went downstairs, but all of a sudden I was standing in that doorway and it was sometime around 6:30 and Tasha was just coming home from work and running errands.  I didn’t tell her what happened but when I was reviewing the footage she happened to see and she didn’t say much honestly.  At this point we’ve seen Him so often that it’s the ‘norm’ around here. Sadly enough. 
Anyway, that tarot card was indeed a tarot card, and it came from a deck called the ‘Deviant Moon Tarot’ by Patrick Valenza.  Apparently The Hermit’s meaning, according to the specific deck, is defined as, “Solitude. Exile. One who seeks to be alone. Outcast. Hidden knowledge, and Secrecy.”
This kind of made me think of Riley for some reason.  When I thought about it more I could also tag myself to these meanings as far as my Schizotypy went and honestly even now it could apply to me.  I just don’t know if it is pertaining to me or Riley at this point.  I still don’t know why I got the pocket watch.  I opened it up to look inside and everything seems to be normal.  As for the movie tickets, it still slightly disturbs me that someone somehow acquired these to send them directly to me.  There’s a small chance it really could be Riley but I have to be careful.  I don’t want to go diving into something I’ll regret.

I’ll keep you all updated on anything else that happens.

~Willow