THIRTYONE

THIRTY

Hello World.

Sorry for my absence the past few weeks.  After the last entry I made…I’ve been feeling really shitty.  I’ve been avoiding Tasha around the house occasionally and some days I’ll go without saying much of anything.  I want to go outside but I’m forcing myself to stay in. It may not seem like it to you guys, but I really don’t want to be roaming around murdering people all the time.  Granted I don’t feel anything towards it but, if I get caught…I don’t know what I’d do.  There would be no one to look for Riley.  I honestly don’t think that Tasha would continue to help me look for him if something happened to me and I can’t really blame her for that, it’s not her responsibility.  It’s mine.

Anyway, Tasha has been feeling about the same.  She still feels really drained some days but it seems like she’s getting better little by little.  Nevertheless she has continued to help me look for answers and more information about everything that has been happening.  She didn’t really have anything to tell me about the movie tickets and when I asked her she had no new theories on the matter of where they came from and why they were in the envelope.  The same went with the tarot card, but she noticed something in my last video.  She pointed out that after the coo-coo clock went off in my video that I completely stopped talking and turned my attention to where the sound was coming from.  Then the Tall Man appeared and I left.  I didn’t really think anything of it other than Him appearing to summon me or whatever it was that happened, but she remembered something from one of my other videos.  I had shown her the footage I had taken over the course of my ‘investigation’ and she pointed out the strange video and audio distortion that occurred in the video of entry TWENTYTWO.  It was similar to the distortions in TWENTYNINE and she threw in the idea that maybe it could be connected to the reason why I was sent the watch.  Neither one of us knows exactly what the watch is for but at least we have a very tiny lead as to what it might be connected to.  I’m hoping soon I’ll find out what it’s for but at the same time…I’m afraid to know.  I have this gut feeling it has something more closely connected to the Tall Man.  For now I guess we’ll have to keep searching for more answers.  I don’t want to believe that I’m heeding to the Tall Man’s will but I am.  I can’t deny that much.  He’s got me killing these people who seem to know of his existence and it makes me wonder what he doesn’t want anyone to know.  It also makes me nervous about Tasha.  What if I go after her?  Or what if He takes her away?

I’ll stay in touch with you guys.

~Willow

TWENTYNINE

Hello World.

Honestly I don’t remember what happened after I went downstairs, but all of a sudden I was standing in that doorway and it was sometime around 6:30 and Tasha was just coming home from work and running errands.  I didn’t tell her what happened but when I was reviewing the footage she happened to see and she didn’t say much honestly.  At this point we’ve seen Him so often that it’s the ‘norm’ around here. Sadly enough. 
Anyway, that tarot card was indeed a tarot card, and it came from a deck called the ‘Deviant Moon Tarot’ by Patrick Valenza.  Apparently The Hermit’s meaning, according to the specific deck, is defined as, “Solitude. Exile. One who seeks to be alone. Outcast. Hidden knowledge, and Secrecy.”
This kind of made me think of Riley for some reason.  When I thought about it more I could also tag myself to these meanings as far as my Schizotypy went and honestly even now it could apply to me.  I just don’t know if it is pertaining to me or Riley at this point.  I still don’t know why I got the pocket watch.  I opened it up to look inside and everything seems to be normal.  As for the movie tickets, it still slightly disturbs me that someone somehow acquired these to send them directly to me.  There’s a small chance it really could be Riley but I have to be careful.  I don’t want to go diving into something I’ll regret.

I’ll keep you all updated on anything else that happens.

~Willow

TWENTYEIGHT

Hello World.

I’ve been making a little bit of progress on figuring out information pertaining to the Tall Man.  I went to Tasha two days after my last entry and asked her about the boy I killed.  She remembered his missing person’s story on the news and told me that he was someone from her neighborhood and that he was a senior at the high school that was about 5 minutes away from her house.  I apologize for not being specific but you have to understand I’m trying to stay away from giving up my exact location in case anyone comes looking for me.  I’ve only just started finding answers to questions and I can’t afford to be locked away now. 
Getting back to my conversation with Tasha, she became slightly frustrated with me as I kept asking more questions about the boy.  She finally ended up telling me that if she could get me more information about him, I’d have to stop asking about him.  I agreed, not sure of what she was planning and then she disappeared in her room for the rest of the afternoon and night.  The following day around noon she came to me with a few papers, all of them having a decent amount of information, most of it being personal, about the kid.  She then proceeded to explain to me everything she had found.  There was quite a bit about the boy’s school life and then she started to tell me about his medical documents.  I didn’t interrupt her when she began telling me about this part of her findings even though I was extremely confused as to how she was able to acquire such confidential documents.  I noticed that in quite a few of the boy’s medical visits, he was apparently showing similar symptoms that Tasha’s mother was claiming she had in the medical papers that we went over at the park.  After she was finished speaking I pondered all of what she told me for a few moments before asking her how she found all of this.  She simply explained to me that she ‘had her ways’ and that I shouldn’t worry about it too much. 
Considering her grade point average in school’s that she attended and how much money her family had I’m just going to assume that ‘her ways’ are code words for ‘I have a secret life of successful and experienced hacking on the side of normality’.  After all, I have noticed her superiority with computers since I’ve been here with her.

Anyway, overall the boy and Tasha’s mother showed similarities with their health and behavior at some point in their lives, the boy being more recent than Tasha’s mother.  So I can only assume that these things are a result of being followed, stalked, haunted, whatever you want to call it, by this Tall Man.  I am now left wondering why I’m being followed by this Man.  Why does he not take me away with the others?  It’s becoming painfully obvious that he needs me to do his ‘dirty work’.  I can’t give you any other reason for my behavior when he shows up…when I get that itch…that ringing in my ears.  It’s not like he’s controlling me but…at the same time he is.  I know what I’m doing, I feel every touch and I remember it all.  I just don’t want to stop myself.  I don’t care.  I feel nothing emotionally towards what I’m doing.  I want to stop…but why?  I don’t want to say I enjoy it but what else can I say?  I guess you could say I find it intriguing.  As I always have.  I can’t remember a time in my life when I have never felt intrigued by hurting others. 

Maybe it’s His fault?

~Willow

TWENTYSEVEN

Hello World.

At first I was just going to update a casual video of life at home now that things have seemed to settle down since the meeting Tasha and I had at the park, but then the noises started.  Tasha’s dog is always staring at blank space and barks occasionally at nothing.  Other than the unexplained noises things have been going well.  I’ve been trying my best to stay inside most days so I won’t attract unwanted attention and I also don’t want to find myself standing over a bloodied body next to the Tall Man.  I want to tell Tasha about what really happens to those missing people but I wouldn’t even know how to start a conversation like that.  Besides…I think she might already have a general idea of what the truth is.  Besides all of that, we’ve been getting along better than before.  It’s awkward sometimes but for the most part we’re doing alright.
Justine seems happier than ever.  I know that she’s just happy because we have someplace warm to stay again.  It feels nice to take a break from everything, even though shit is still happening.  It doesn’t bother me as much as Tasha though.  I guess all of these noises are the reason she wanted to meet at the park.  I wouldn’t want to be alone in a house where every hour strange knocks and bangs occur.  I’d have a heart attack if one caught me off guard.  I know that she’s actually glad that I’m around again so that she doesn’t have to be here all by herself.

Quite honestly it feels good to have someone to talk to as well.

~Willow

TWENTYSIX

Hello World.

 

 

Don’t worry, I’m fine.  We managed to get away from the cop that pulled up right as Tasha and I were finishing our talk.  I don’t understand what those drawings mean and I still have no solid leads to follow but at least I have some clues towards answering more about the Tall Man.  I don’t know what I’m going to do for now, I think I’m just going to lay low and stay home as much as possible.  I don’t need to put Tasha’s name on the police board with mine.  She’s been through a lot lately and I know that it’s mostly, if not all my fault.

We’re doing better though.

~Willow

TWENTYFIVE

Hello World.

I’m going back to Tasha’s house.  I got this text message from her earlier today.  I don’t know what it is that she wants to talk about…but this gives me a chance to find out more about her mother. 

I hope this isn’t another dead end.

~Willow